Tips for Improving Your Self-Relationship to Date With Confidence
When analyzing relationships we often look at everything except how we look at ourselves. It is easy to forget how you feel about yourself can make or break your love life. Remember, that finding that special someone and landing a successful relationship, first starts with you. Your self-perception and self-esteem shape your entire journey to lasting love. More importantly, how you treat yourself influences how others treat you. Take a step back and look at your relationship with yourself before starting another. If you feel frustrated by the same results in your dating life, start by taking a look at these tips to improve your self-relationship in order to date with confidence.
Say No to Negative Self-Talk
Talk to yourself how you would want others to talk to you. Are you degrading yourself through negative self-talk?
It’s important that you recognize how your own thoughts are making you feel about yourself. Do you blame yourself, constantly tell yourself you fell short, or feel like you are not good enough? If so, it can really have a bad impact on your mental health and your relationships.
If you feel like you are feeling down and trapped due to your thoughts, one way to feel better could be to talk about it.
Meet with someone who can relate to you like a life coach who has experience working with singles on self-love mastery to get away from dragging yourself down. You can also set up a time to meet with a therapist who can help you learn different types of therapy if you are struggling with depression or don’t know how to address your concerns that you are holding onto deep down inside.
It’s important to address your thoughts and feelings, otherwise, it will be difficult to move forward. Whatever strategy you use, be sure to combat these thoughts and stop them in their tracks.
Think about how you would talk to a friend in the same situation. Would you talk to them like the things you are telling yourself? Most likely not, and it will show you just how harsh you are being on yourself. Instead, do your best to treat yourself kindly.
By thinking positively you will be able to approach not only your relationship with yourself, but will help you date with more purpose and respect.
As you start to think more positively about yourself, you will be able to recognize toxic and degrading behavior quickly on a date.
Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Being comfortable with yourself and who you are will provide you with the strong foundation you need to feel satisfied with your life.
Do you find yourself constantly fishing for compliments, attention, or approval from others to feel good about yourself?
It’s time to stop relying on others to bring you happiness. Instead, get comfortable with who you are. Don’t be afraid to express yourself and highlight your personality.
Have you always wanted to wear heels, but have felt like you would look silly walking in them? Have you wanted to wear a little black dress, but feel like you can’t pull it off?
It’s time to jump in.
Remember every body type is beautiful in its own right. Don't sell yourself short. Have fun, be bold, and don’t hesitate to try out the styles you have been dying to wear.
Be unapologetically you, and leave your fears behind. With each step forward you come out of your shell more, break out of your fashion comfort zone, and feel ready for what life throws at you.
Being comfortable with who you are can help you focus on falling in love and building your relationship for the future.
Respect Your Body
Self-respect is huge. Gaining respect from others can become even more difficult if you don’t respect yourself, and respecting your body is a big one.
It’s important to treat yourself well. Take care of your health and your body. Don’t push yourself past your own limits.
Do what’s good for you by respecting your body by eating healthy, exercising, and getting a good night's sleep. Taking proper care of yourself will not only be good for your health but help you look great too. You can even check out these ways how good health can improve your confidence and happiness.
From looking alert and being in charge of your surroundings, to having a fresh and pretty face without those under-eye circles, respecting your body and health is empowering. Not only that but it helps you set and reinforce your boundaries.
It will allow you to protect yourself and keep your safety in mind when dating.
For instance, by having a drink limit rule, you can prevent yourself from consuming too much alcohol and provide yourself with more control.
Last but not least, take things slow. Doing so allows you to avoid those who are after empty intimacy and are not looking to be invested in a relationship for the long haul.
Get to Know Yourself Better
Do you even know yourself, or are you on a path of self-discovery?
We change as we move through the chapters of life, but it’s important to have a generally good idea of what you want for yourself and what will ultimately make you happy.
Having a clear understanding of your values and aspirations will help you remain grounded and feel better about yourself before jumping into things with a partner.
Do you need more time to explore before settling down, or are you ready to commit? Knowing these things up front will guide you and keep you from experiencing frustration or even heartbreak.
You have to be on the same page with yourself before you can be in harmony with another person. A great way to get to know yourself better is to talk to those around you, and a great place to start is to ask your friends these questions about yourself to learn more.
Ask them what they like about you, how you generally communicate, and how they would describe you to someone who does not know you. You may learn something about yourself you didn't know before.
It may even help you improve your own self-perception and help you to overcome self-doubt. You may hear some great things like “I love your smile”, or “You always make me laugh.” Hearing from others can really help you feel good about yourself and help you know what people value and see in you.
Splurge on Yourself
There is nothing more satisfying than being noticed by others and receiving a kind compliment or a special treat. But how often do you treat yourself?
Whenever you accomplish something do you recognize yourself for it? If not, you really should! It’s time to buy yourself flowers, a box of chocolate, or spend a little on your favorite takeout when you do something great.
This will help reinforce how accomplished you are, and that you are worthy of recognition from time to time.
We often tell ourselves that we don’t deserve something or shy away from the spotlight when someone highlights your achievements. But it's time to let your light shine and celebrate yourself. Doing so will help to build your confidence, allow you to not brush off compliments from your dates, and remind you that you deserve a splurge-worthy treat like a special surprise or a fancy date night now and then.
Create a Brag Sheet
We all have something to be proud of that instantly makes us feel accomplished for what we have done that should be celebrated.
Think about those defining moments in your life, like when you graduated, got a promotion, ran your first 5k, or even the joy you bring people with your unique skills or hobbies.
Whatever it may be, there is sure to be more than you realize, as it is easy to downplay or overlook things you should be proud of doing.
So why not create a brag sheet? Take a moment to write down all of your accomplishments and all the wisdom your life has provided.
As you fill up your brag sheet, think about the hard work, effort, and sweat and tears you put into all these things to make them happen.
You should see just how strong and dedicated you are to have gotten so much done in your life.
Knowing your strengths and abilities should truly boost your self-confidence not only for yourself, but for what you can bring to the table for others in your relationships.
It’s time to say bye-bye to being intimidated by dating profiles and what looks to be highly influential, successful, and confident potential suitors.
You have much to smile and talk about too, so don’t even doubt yourself for a minute. Think of your brag sheet as your resume of accomplishments. There is a lot for you to feel good about and accomplished.
Look to the Future You Want to Manifest
Are you constantly hung up on mistakes you feel that you’ve made or things you wish went differently in your past?
Although we all have those pain points and things that we wish we could just have a do-over on. Are you stuck on things like childhood trauma that is impacting your life today, or feel mortified like you did something that blew a past relationship?
Being stuck in the past prevents you from moving forward.
What you can do is acknowledge your feelings, and instead of feeling upset about what went wrong, use it as a learning experience for what you can do better next time.
Those experiences can help you know what you truly need and want out of a relationship, and what you are not willing to compromise on.
For example, if you have attracted narcissists in the past and suffered in these relationships, your experiences will allow you to recognize the warning signs early and not fall into the same trap.
What you can do is to tell yourself that you are not defined by your past experiences and that you can reshape your future story. Don’t worry, you are not a hopeless romantic and your future is bright.
Get Decisive When Dating
Confidence and self-trust go hand in hand when it comes down to getting decisive.
If you have found yourself to be wishy-washy, questioning your every decision, and unsure about which way to go, you’ve got to break free from the mindset of self doubt.
Leave indecisiveness behind and start empowering yourself by making confident decisions.
It’s okay to be uncomfortable with a choice that you are presented with, but the important thing is to not allow it to leave you frozen. It’s also okay to talk to others before making a really big decision, but in the end, only you can make a choice for you.
It's so important that you don’t rely on others to make decisions for you. Being confident in yourself means you are not trapped by codependency.
You can choose what is right for you . Learn to reconnect to your own instincts and intuition.
To help you be more decisive you can always try a decision matrix when you feel stuck. Being able to be decisive in your own right will only make it easier for you and your future partner.
This way when your date asks you where you want to go to dinner, or where you see your relationship down the road, you will have clear answers which will show your partner you are both considerate and confident.
Spend Your Time With Positive People
Who are you spending your time with? What type of people are your friends, family members, and co-workers?
Although we can not always control everyone we are around, we can do our best to spend time with positive people.
Pay attention to how others treat you. Are you around someone who constantly criticizes you and has nothing good to say? If so, they will only bring you down, slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.
Be sure to take this as an opportunity to stand up for yourself and to respect your self-worth. You don’t deserve to be treated poorly, and setting those boundaries now will help you protect yourself when dating.
Sometimes we try to make excuses for others, from a critical friend to an overbearing mother, but instead, it’s time to do what's best for you.
Let them know politely, yet firmly, how their behavior is making you feel. Being able to communicate with others about their behavior will help you to address things up front, and not permit someone to treat you with disrespect over and over again.
With this skill in your back pocket, you will be well-equipped to deal with your dates. Instead of giving too many second chances, you will be able to swiftly address a date's behavior and have more respect for yourself within your romantic relationships and with yourself by not permitting others to bring you down and poor behavior to go unaddressed.
Learning to love yourself can be hard. We tend to be our harshest critic.
Whenever you find that you are being unkind to yourself, switch channels. Acknowledge that the negative self perception isn’t serving you then, choose a better feeling thought.
Something as simple as, “I love and respect myself more and more each day,” is a truthful affirmation that raises your energetic frequency.
Be conscious each and every day to build yourself up so that you can become the best version of yourself. When you believe in yourself, and invest in bettering yourself, you’ll attract higher quality people.
Your special someone is sure to be attracted to your confidence and what makes you, you.