48 Laws of Power Applied to Dating
Lisa Concepcion, a Certified Professional Life Coach specializing in dating and relationships, asked AI to provide The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene with a brief description of each law and an example of how to apply it to dating and romantic relationships. Here’s what AI provided with Lisa’s own additional insights.
Will Lisa agree with every Law? Keep reading to find out.
Print this out and discuss it with your friends.
As you are reading this think about the changes you get to make and must make with how you carry yourself.
Let’s get into the 48 Laws of Power and how they apply to dating and relationships.
1. Never Outshine the Master
Description: Never make those above you feel insecure. Make them feel superior, and they will support you.
Application to Dating: In dating, don't make your partner feel inferior or threatened by your successes. Give them the space to shine and feel appreciated.
Example: If you're more successful or skilled than your partner in some area, avoid bragging or showing off. Instead, encourage and celebrate their strengths to make them feel valued.
My expert take: This is a common mistake modern women make when dating. Modern women lead with their independence and achievements which leads to attracting weak beta males and man-boys who don’t have any direction in life.
As a coach I help women learn how to get into their feminine energy so they can attract more masculine men who have their act together, are clear and certain about the direction of their lives and have already created a lifestyle that shows a woman he has something to offer beyond what she can already do for herself.
The important thing here is that women learn how to speak more about why they love what they do and the impact they make through their career.
For example, a client of mine is a contract attorney who specializes in small business contracts. So instead of blabbing about how she’s an attorney, where she went to law school, how much money she makes and how she went to Bali last year as a birthday present to herself, I suggested she share why she chose to serve in the world as an attorney, what difference does she make, what lights her up about what she does.
I find many successful women I coach have a lot of healing to do which is why they are so hyper independent in the first place.
If you’re a woman interested in stepping into your feminine energy so you can attract a masculine, capable, high-quality man, click here and get on my calendar.
2. Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies
Description: Keep friends close but rely on enemies for a challenge, as they often provide more honest feedback and are more cautious.
My expert opinion is quite the opposite. Cut off all toxic people.
Application to Dating: In romantic relationships, don’t assume that a partner will always have your back. Be cautious about being too vulnerable too soon, and learn from those who may not always be on your side.
This I agree with. Stop oversharing on dates with people you don’t know. Predatory narcissists always prey upon the vulnerable.
Example: If you're dating someone who has a history of jealousy or insecurity, be mindful not to give them too much control over the relationship. Set boundaries and maintain a level of independence.
Agree!!
3. Conceal Your Intentions
Description: Always keep your plans and goals hidden from others to prevent them from interfering or acting before you.
Application to Dating: In dating, don’t reveal everything about your intentions immediately. Keep a little mystery to allow the relationship to unfold naturally.
Example: If you're looking for a serious relationship, don’t immediately start talking about marriage and long-term plans on your first few dates. Let the relationship develop slowly.
I disagree with this example. When I met my now husband I was up front and clear about why I was dating (to attract my husband) and what I wanted out of life.
And, I was prepared to put him in the friendzone if he wasn’t interested in marriage.
4 Months later… he proposed.
Why waste time playing games. Be confident and bold. Your time is precious. I have coached many women who wasted 3 years in a relationship with no proposal, no talk of the future wondering where the relationship is going.
Get clear about what you want in life and then communicate that succinctly, gracefully and confidently.
If you are tired of the BS and want to learn how to date to attract your ideal man, tell me more about your current situation via the Free LoveLife Assessment. Click here.
4. Always Say Less Than Necessary
Description: The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish. Less talk can create an aura of mystery and power.
Application to Dating: In romantic relationships, sometimes less is more. Saying too much can make you seem needy or insecure. Let your actions and silence speak for you.
Example: If you're feeling anxious about the relationship or your feelings, instead of over-sharing, be more reserved and allow the other person to open up. This creates space for them to express themselves and builds curiosity.
Exactly! Learn how to sit comfortably in silence when on a date. You don’t need to lean in and fill the air with forced conversation. Instead work on your charm and use dating as a way to learn about the guy so you can decide after the 1st date if there needs to be a 2nd date.
5. So Much Depends on Reputation—Guard It With Your Life
Description: Your reputation is an invaluable asset. Protect it fiercely, as it shapes how others perceive and interact with you.
Application to Dating: Protect your image in your dating life. If you engage in behavior that damages your reputation (e.g., being unreliable or dishonest), it will hurt your chances for future success in relationships.
I agree with this and I’ll take it further. Don’t present yourself as a hot mess on social media. Post photos of yourself dressed elegantly and don’t use social media as a place to vent.
Example: If you are dating multiple people, be honest about it from the start. Avoid lying or hiding things that could damage your reputation and trustworthiness in the long term.
I disagree with this example and will share the dating strategy that worked for me and my clients who are now married.
Tell a man that your dating style is more intentional and focused so you prefer to date one person at a time and are able to decide if they’re a fit or not without distraction.
This is the way to date if you’re serious and serious men find this very attractive.
High quality men are fed up with the bigger better deal approach to dating where women date and date and date fearing they will miss out on a better man.
They find those women to be fickle, immature and won’t take them seriously.
If you want to learn how to date to marry, which is very different from just average dating, click here and let’s get started.
6. Court Attention at All Costs
Description: Attention is power. Always strive to be the center of attention in any social setting, as people who are noticed are more likely to succeed.
I would add that the best way to be the center of attention is to have a positive attitude and take interest in others. Be the person everyone wants to be around.
There’s an obnoxious, loud way of getting attention and then there’s a positive, more charming way. Be a lady who charms. Don’t chase attention, attract it.
Application to Dating: In relationships, maintaining a level of intrigue or attraction can help keep your partner interested. Don’t fade into the background—create memorable moments. Women can do this through touch and affection.
Example: During dates, engage your partner in exciting or new activities that make you stand out. Don’t always play it safe. Surprise them with something unexpected to keep the relationship fresh.
7. Get Others to Do the Work for You, But Always Take the Credit
Description: Leverage others' abilities and efforts to achieve your own goals, while ensuring you get the credit for the success.
Application to Dating: In a relationship, delegate tasks or make your partner feel involved in a way that contributes to your shared success, but take the lead in setting the direction.
Example: If you're planning a special date, involve your partner in small decisions or planning but ensure that the overall experience reflects your thoughtfulness and attention to detail.
Expert opinion: Ladies, be sure to choose capable men who can take the lead. This puts you in your feminine energy.
You also have to yield to your man’s leadership. This requires trust and agreeableness which masculine men value in women.
The best way to take credit is by complimenting him while praising yourself for being the type of woman who attracted a man as wonderful as he.
For example, he takes you to a restaurant you said you wanted to go to and you say…
“Thank you so much for remembering that I wanted to go to this place getting us reservations. It was delicious and the atmosphere was spectacular. So great.”
If you struggle to attract capable masculine men because you are hyper-independent and think men may be intimidated by you click here for your Free LoveLife Assessment.
8. Make Other People Come to You—Use Bait if Necessary
Description: Don’t chase after others—make them come to you. By being the one who is in demand, you gain more power.
Application to Dating: In dating, you don’t want to appear desperate or overly eager. Instead, maintain a sense of independence and make your partner feel like they have to pursue you.
Example: If you're always available and constantly initiating contact, your partner might take you for granted. Instead, let them take the initiative sometimes, and maintain a sense of mystery by not being too available.
This is black cat energy. I teach this. Often women who still have a wounded Inner Child running the show in their life when it comes to dating will have anxious attachment.
Instead of Black Cat Feminine Energy they are clingy, insecure and uncertain.
If this sounds like you then it’s time to heal your wounded inner child which I teach. Click here and start by getting your free lovelife assessment.
9. Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument
Description: Arguing is often counterproductive. Prove your point through action rather than words, which can be easily disputed.
Application to Dating: In a relationship, if you want to prove your value, show it through your actions, not by arguing or persuading with words.
Example: If your partner expresses concern about something you’re doing, rather than arguing your point, show them with your actions that you respect their feelings and are making an effort to change.
For couples in need of repairing their relationship or improving communication click here.
10. Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
Description: Negative energy and bad luck are contagious. Avoid those who bring you down or are constantly unsuccessful.
Application to Dating: If you're in a relationship with someone who constantly drags you down emotionally or negatively affects your mindset, it's important to reassess the relationship.
Example: If your partner is chronically negative or always blaming others for their problems, it might drain your energy and impact your happiness. Encourage positive thinking or, if necessary, distance yourself from toxic behavior.
Need help breaking a trauma bond and moving forward from chaos to peace? Click here and get on my calendar. Do not waste another day clinging to a relationship where negativity brings you down.
11. Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
Description: Cultivate a sense of dependency in others to increase your power. People who rely on you are less likely to challenge or betray you.
Application to Dating: In relationships, make your partner feel that you add value to their life. Don’t be needy, but offer support and make them realize they rely on you emotionally.
Example: If your partner is going through a tough time, be their emotional rock and provide them with support. This will make them more attached to you, knowing they can rely on you.
This is an incredibly important thing to master if you want to attract a masculine man. They have resources, a lifestyle, so show them based on how you treat them that being in your presence enhances their life.
This requires you to better yourself so you have more things of substance to share with your partner.
Quality men want quality conversation. They can’t stand trivial gossip and talk about pop culture. They don’t care about what happened on your show.
They value your faith, encouragement, reassurance and positivity.
Best thing to say to a high quality capable man, “you’ll figure it out, the solution will come.”
Feminine intuition and faith is what your super power is. Learn to use it.
To learn more about how to shift into your feminine energy so you can attract high quality masculine men click here and let’s roll.
12. Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim
Description: Use moments of honesty and generosity to lower others’ defenses and make them more susceptible to influence.
Application to Dating: In relationships, be sincere at the right times. Offering generosity and being honest about your feelings can create trust and a sense of vulnerability.
Example: If you’re having a serious conversation about your feelings, open up about a personal experience or vulnerability. This can create a bond and encourage your partner to do the same.
Warning: This is a form of manipulation. Be on guard as this is a tactic often used by predatory narcissists. People should always be sincere.
Trust your instincts. If someone seems too nice, and too willing to listen to your problems, they may be lovebombing you.
Want to learn how to determine if the love is real or fake? Click here to get on my calendar to help you to never attract narcissists again.
13. When Asking for Help, Appeal to People's Self-Interest
Description: When seeking help, make sure to highlight what the other person stands to gain from assisting you.
Application to Dating: If you need a favor from your partner, frame it in a way that appeals to their self-interest. People are more likely to help if they see what’s in it for them.
Example: If you need your partner’s help with something, show them how helping you can benefit them as well—whether it’s saving time, solving a problem, or getting something in return.
Disagree!! This is nothing but games. I offer a better solution.
Men want to solve problems and be of help. So frame your request as asking for help.
“My love, can you help me?” (wait for him to say yes)
“Oh great, thank you. Please help me by taking the recyclables and garbage out to the street in the next 10 minutes. (give them a specific time goal).
Formula:
Request help.
Get their agreement to help.
Present the task in detail.
Give a specified time for completion.
14. Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy
Description: Gather information about others by posing as their friend. Understanding people’s weaknesses and desires gives you an advantage.
Application to Dating: Be observant and learn about your partner’s fears, desires, and vulnerabilities. This knowledge can help you navigate the relationship more effectively and avoid misunderstandings.
Example: If your partner opens up about insecurities or past trauma, use this knowledge to support them while being cautious not to exploit it. Build trust and understanding based on what they reveal.
Narcissists will use this as a predatory tactic. Beware!
If you are still reeling from a past relationship with a narcissist, let’s connect. Click here.
15. Crush Your Enemy Totally
Description: When you have the chance to defeat an enemy, do so completely to avoid future threats.
Application to Dating: When it is over. It is over. Sure you can end things amicably and cordially when a person was good to you and didn’t manipulate, abuse or betray you.
If betrayed, abused or wronged, end it, block them on everything and do not contact them and do not allow them to contact you. “Going No Contact,” is the best way to turn the focus onto your healing.
For more information on how to heal from narcissistic abuse and reinvent your life after narcissistic abuse, click here.
16. Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Description: When you’re always around and available, your presence can become taken for granted. You may even seem needy or desperate.
Application to Dating: In relationships, creating space and maintaining some level of mystery can make your partner value you more. Let them miss you. Let them wonder where you are and what you are doing especially in the beginning of the relationship.
As the relationship progresses, it is still important to have your own space to do the things you want to do. You may want to read a book, workout, see friends or family.
17. Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability
Description: By being unpredictable, you make it harder for others to anticipate your actions and intentions. This uncertainty keeps them on edge and more compliant.
Warning! This is a tactic used by narcissists to condition their “supply” for chaos and break-up, make-up dynamic.
The goal is to choose people who are consistent.
While you want to be intrigued, don’t fall into any dysfunctional relationship traps and manipulation.
There is a place for healthy spontaneity.
Example: If you always plan traditional dates, surprise your partner with something unexpected like a spontaneous weekend getaway or an unplanned romantic evening. This can make the relationship feel fresh and adventurous.
18. Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself—Isolation is Dangerous
Description: Isolation weakens your position. By isolating yourself from others, you lose perspective, and others can gain power over you.
Application to Dating: In relationships, isolating yourself from friends, family, or outside perspectives can be harmful. Healthy relationships involve maintaining a connection with others, not just your partner.
Narcissists often try to isolate their partner especially in the early stages or the “grooming phase” where they test your boundaries.
Learn how to pace the relationship and balance time with your partner with time with others.
Narcissists often become jealous and even angry when they want to monopolize your time and you tell them you have other plans.
Pay attention to their reaction.
19. Know Who You’re Dealing With—Do Not Offend the Wrong Person
Description: Every person has different triggers, strengths, and weaknesses. It’s crucial to understand who you’re dealing with to avoid inadvertently making enemies.
Application to Dating: Understand your partner’s boundaries and sensitivities. Every person is different, so avoid pushing buttons that could lead to unnecessary conflict.
Many times codependent people will make excuses for others crossing boundaries and being disrespectful or insensitive.
It is important to be clear about what you will not tolerate.
If you are being made fun of, put down then accused of being overly sensitive, learn to advocate for yourself and remove these toxic people from your life.
20. Do Not Commit to Anyone. I disagree!!
While it is important to allow time to decide if someone new is for you, avoid the fear of missing out and date with clear intention.
Communicate why you are dating. What is your goal? Be clear as not to waste your time.
Some advise not committing to one person too soon.
I suggest learning how to date with such confidence and certainty that all it takes is 3 dates to know if the person wants what you want out of life.
In my case, I knew I was dating to attract my husband. So I was clear that this was my intent from the start.
On my first date with my now husband, I said I was dating to attract my husband and therefore I was operating from the energy of a wife.
Meaning, I wasn’t dating multiple people. I give 3 dates and then I decide if I want another date and on and on.
This approach is very attractive to high quality men who want commitment and are fed up with women using them for dinners or just to have a night out only to move on to another man.
If you have fear of missing out then consider learning how to date with clarity and clear purpose.
My husband proposed and we were married within a year and a half.
There was no ambiguity or wondering what we were and where we were going.
Be ok with commitment if that’s truly what you want. Don’t downplay it.
Click here for more information on dating with purpose.
21. Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker—Seem Dumber Than Your Mark
Description: Sometimes, appearing less intelligent or capable can lull others into a false sense of security. This allows you to gain more control over the situation.
Application to Dating: In relationships, it’s okay to let your partner think they have the upper hand sometimes. This can make them more comfortable and less defensive, allowing you to influence the dynamic in subtle ways.
Example: If you're dating someone who is used to being the "expert" in a particular area, act curious and ask questions. This can make them feel good about themselves and more willing to let you into their world.
This is a strategy feminine women use all the time. While I don’t recommend that anyone dumb themselves down or seem less intelligent, I do recommend speaking less, listening more and asking for assistance with simple things.
“Asking a man to help you with your coat, or to carry something for you (even though you are able) makes him feel needed and useful.
22. Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power
Description: By surrendering temporarily, you can disarm your opponent and turn a disadvantage into an advantage.
Application to Dating: In relationships, there are times when it’s best to lose the battle to win the wart.
Instead of trying to be right, step back or concede a point, not as a sign of weakness, but as a strategy to gain more control later on.
Men say that accountability and willingness to admit fault is a characteristic of a high value feminine woman.
Men will respect you more and will be more inclined to listen to you in the future if you don’t always have to be right.
Example: If you're in an argument and realize you’re losing, instead of escalating, you could take a step back, acknowledge your partner’s viewpoint, and give them time to cool down. Later, you can revisit the conversation with a clearer approach.
“We are both trying to make some valid points here. Let’s not escalate this but instead let’s just consider what we both said.”
23. Concentrate Your Forces
Description: Focus your energy and resources on a single goal to maximize your effectiveness. Spreading yourself too thin weakens your power.
Application to Dating: In relationships, focusing on one partner and giving them your undivided attention can create a deeper connection.
Avoid splitting your attention between multiple people if you want to build a strong bond. Masculine men are turned off by women who seem uncertain and lack interest or seriousness.
Example: If you're seriously dating someone, don’t divide your energy between multiple relationships. Put time and effort into building the one you truly care about.
I went on 3 dates with my now husband and after 3 weeks of seeing each other, he initiated the talk about being exclusive.
24. Play the Perfect Courtier
Description: Master the art of flattery, grace, and subtlety to win the favor of those in power.
Application to Dating: In romantic relationships, showing your partner admiration, respect, and attention can build their affection for you. Mastering the art of subtle compliments and gestures can help strengthen the bond.
Example: Compliment your partner in a way that feels genuine and personal. Instead of generic compliments, notice the little things about them that stand out—whether it’s a quality, a skill, or something that makes them unique.
This is incredibly feminine.
When you are on the receiving end of this flattery be sure it is genuine and not love-bombing.
In order to tell if it is real or fake, learn to trust yourself. It is important to have discernment when dating.
If you fear attracting a narcissist again click here.
If you want to master being in your feminine energy, click here.
25. Recreate Yourself
Description: Keep it fresh, new and exciting. Consider changing up your hair, dressing impeccably and appropriately for different occasions. Always have your own interests and new things to talk about. Be dynamic, not a dud.
Application to Dating: Consistent personal development, self care and growth always keeps you interesting and appealing. Don’t get stuck in a routine or become complacent.
Example: If your relationship feels stale, try something new—whether it’s taking up a new hobby, changing your style, or surprising your partner with new activities that show growth and energy.
26. Keep Your Hands Clean, Avoid Drama
Description: Maintain the appearance of being blameless and innocent, while letting others do the dirty work for you.
Application to Dating: In relationships, avoid being directly involved in conflicts or causing unnecessary drama. Let others handle situations that could tarnish your image.
Learn when to step away from the commotion.
Example: If there’s a disagreement between your partner and one of your friends, don’t get caught in the middle. Stay neutral and support your partner without involving yourself in any negative exchanges.
27. Play on People's Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following
Description: People want to believe in something greater than themselves. By offering them a cause or belief, you can gain loyal followers.
Application to Dating: In relationships, provide your partner with something to believe in—whether it’s shared values, a vision for the future, or simply a sense of adventure. People are often drawn to those who offer them meaning.
Example: If you share long-term goals or a sense of purpose in the relationship, it can make your partner feel more secure and invested in building a future together.
This is exactly what my relationship with my husband was based on. We shared what we wanted out of life and were on the same page. We had shared values, morals, worldview and vision for how we wanted to live.
It is so important to be in agreement on lifestyle.
28. Enter Action with Boldness
Description: Boldness creates confidence and attracts attention. People prefer those who act decisively and with confidence.
Application to Dating: Know what you want out of life and your relationship and communicate it boldly. This exudes confidence.
Example: Don’t allow yourself to fall into ambiguity about exclusivity. Tell a man up front that you don’t have sex until you are committed and in love.
29. Plan All the Way to the End
Description: Always plan ahead and think about how things will unfold. By anticipating challenges, you can maintain control of the situation.
Application to Dating: Date with your desired end result in mind. If you are dating to marry, get clear about what your standards are and pay attention to red flags that aren’t aligned with the desired end result. If he’s non committal and seems to want different things out of life, he’s not a match to your plan. End it!
Break your bad dating patterns. Click here to get started.
30. Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless
Description: Hide the effort it takes to achieve success. When others see your achievements as easy, they will attribute greater value to them.
Application to Dating: In romantic relationships, don’t constantly highlight the effort or sacrifice you’re making for your partner. Let your actions speak for themselves, and allow them to appreciate the gesture without feeling pressured.
Example: If you plan a romantic evening or surprise your partner, don’t make a big deal about how hard you worked to make it happen. Let them simply enjoy the moment.
If your effort goes unappreciated, the solution isn’t more effort and it certainly isn’t lecturing or asking for appreciation.
Instead observe people and decide if they are for you or not. Be willing to walk away if not appreciated.
31. Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards You Deal
Description: By controlling the choices available to others, you can influence their decisions and actions.
Application to Dating: In relationships, subtly guide your partner’s choices and decisions to align with what you want. This doesn’t mean manipulation, but rather creating situations where the options lead to favorable outcomes for you.
Example: If you're trying to decide on a date activity, present two options that you enjoy and would like to do. This gives your partner the illusion of choice, but both options align with your preferences.
32. Play to People's Fantasies
Description: People are often more drawn to fantasy than reality. By tapping into their fantasies, you can gain their loyalty and admiration.
Learn how to communicate in a way that gets them to open up to you. Lead with curiosity. I teach my clients how to master open ended communication so the person is drawn in making you magnetic.
Saying things like, “tell me more about that.” Or “that’s interesting, why is that important to you? These are just two examples. I share loads with my clients.
33. Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
Description: Every person has a vulnerability or weakness. By understanding what it is, you can use this knowledge to your advantage.
Application to Dating: Be attentive to your partner's vulnerabilities—whether emotional or psychological—and use this understanding to show compassion and support, or to avoid inadvertently pushing their buttons.
Example: If your partner is sensitive about their career, avoid making jokes or criticisms about their job. Instead, focus on their strengths and what you admire about their work ethic to build their confidence.
34. Be Royal in Your Own Fashion: Act Like a King / Queen to Be Treated Like One
Description: Carry yourself with confidence and self-respect. When you believe you are worthy of respect, others will treat you with the same level of esteem.
Application to Dating: Stop having sex with people you don’t know. Abstain from sex until you are in a committed relationship and in love. This shows you have self discipline, dignity, self respect and that you value yourself. self-assurance and dignity.
When you act with true confidence and self-respect, your partner will be more likely to treat you with the same admiration.
A truly confident woman isn’t being led by lust.
To learn how to date with true confidence and clear purpose click here and get on my calendar.
35. Master the Art of Timing
Description: Recognizing the right moment to act is crucial to gaining power. Timing can make or break a situation.
Application to Dating: In relationships, timing is everything—whether it’s bringing up an important conversation or knowing when to give your partner space. Acting at the right time helps ensure your messages are heard and received positively.
Example: If your partner is stressed or upset, don’t try to discuss something serious immediately. Wait for the right moment when they are more receptive to having a calm and meaningful conversation.
If you struggle with anxious attachment it will be very difficult to allow space. Handle this. It is important to be able to regulate your emotions and soothe yourself.
Click here to get your free love life assessment and begin to heal anxious attachment.
36. Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them is the Best Revenge
Description: By ignoring things that you cannot control or have, you diminish their power over you. People often desire what they cannot have, so showing indifference makes you more attractive.
Application to Dating: If your partner is showing interest in someone else or something outside the relationship, don’t react with jealousy or desperation. Show that you don’t need validation or attention to feel secure in the relationship.
Example: If your partner is spending time with friends and you feel a bit left out, don’t react with jealousy. Instead, engage in your own activities or show that you respect their need for independence, which can make them value you more.
Just get distant and remain unbothered. Don’t be spiteful. Just simply remove your energy from them and redirect it onto yourself. They will pursue you even more.
Then when they come to you tell them you get distant when not included and decide it’s best to do your own thing.
37. Create Compelling Spectacles (MEN!!)
Description: People are drawn to grand gestures and dramatic events. Creating an unforgettable moment or spectacle can elevate your status and influence.
Application to Dating: In relationships, surprising your partner with grand romantic gestures or memorable experiences can deepen the emotional connection. Make sure the spectacle is tailored to your partner’s interests and desires.
Example: Organize a surprise romantic evening—a candlelit dinner, followed by stargazing or a late-night walk. The drama and unexpected nature of the gesture will make the experience unforgettable and increase your bond.
Women must learn how to receive these gestures and appreciate them. Most women stuck in masculine energy make all the grand gestures and put forth all the effort then grow resentful.
Learn to lean back and be secure in your feminine energy. Let the men do for you.
If you struggle to attract masculine men who go above and beyond for you it’s probably because you are too used to doing everything for yourself. Learn how to step into your feminine energy around men and while in relationships.
38. Think as You Like But Behave Like Others
Description: While you may have your own ideas and beliefs, it’s important to blend in with those around you, especially in social settings, to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Application to Dating: In relationships, adapt to your partner’s social circles and environments. While you don’t have to change who you are, showing that you can be flexible and integrate into their world will make them feel more comfortable with you.
Example: If you’re dating someone who values social gatherings or family events, even if you’re more introverted, show that you’re willing to engage and make an effort to blend in, even if it’s just for their sake.
I’ll also add to remain authentic. While relationships do require showing up for the other person and participating in things with them, if their form of socializing isn’t a match for yours (they party til all hours of the night, use drugs or alcohol) or has an insufferable group of friends or family then speak up and decide if you can proceed with them or not.
39. Stir Up Waters to Catch Fish
Description: By creating a little chaos or confusion, you can manipulate a situation in your favor. It throws others off balance and makes them more vulnerable.
Application to Dating: In relationships, you can create intrigue or excitement by introducing a bit of unpredictability. While it’s important not to cause unnecessary conflict, a little tension can keep the relationship dynamic and exciting.
Example: If things have become a little too predictable or stagnant in your relationship, introduce a fun surprise—perhaps an unexpected date night or a new activity that adds a sense of adventure.
Try new things!! Stop going to the same places.
40. Despise the Free Lunch
Description: What is offered for free is often undervalued. Always pay for what you want, and people will appreciate the value of what they receive from you.
Application to Dating: In relationships, don’t expect things to come easily or without effort. If you offer too much without reciprocation, your partner might take you for granted.
Example: If you’re constantly paying for dates or making sacrifices without your partner reciprocating, it can lead to an imbalance. Ensure that your partner is also contributing to the relationship, whether emotionally, financially, or through other efforts.
Remember reciprocity doesn’t mean money. If he pays for dates, offer to buy treats or go to the market, buy food to cook for him. Always have his favorite beverage in your fridge. The little things matter to men.
41. Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes
Description: If you try to follow in the footsteps of a great person, you will always be compared to them. Create your own identity and path.
Application to Dating: In relationships, don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your partner. Create your own identity and carve your own role in the relationship.
Example: If your partner is still thinking about their ex, avoid trying to compete with or compare yourself to them. Focus on being your authentic self and building a unique, valuable relationship together.
Always ask them how long it has been since their last relationship and what they learned from it. This will open them up to reveal important information.
If they are still frequently in touch with an ex they aren’t coparenting with, assume they aren’t over them.
If you are struggling with dating. Let’s connect! Now is the time for action. Don’t you want to get to the root of what is going on so you can finally handle it? Click here.
42. Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep Will Scatter
Description: If you remove the leader of a group or the source of a problem, the rest will fall apart without direction.
Application to Dating: In relationships, if there’s an issue or conflict with a third party (e.g., a friend or family member interfering in the relationship), addressing the root cause can resolve the situation.
Example: If your partner’s best friend is causing tension, you might gently address the issue with your partner, encouraging a more supportive environment. By addressing the core issue, you can improve the relationship.
And if they are resistant, end it. You’re not put here to deal with disrespect. If they can’t be a team then they’re not for you and the problems will escalate down the road.
43. Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others
Description: To win over people, you must appeal to their emotions, not just their logic. Understanding their feelings and perspectives is key to influencing them.
Application to Dating: In relationships, understanding your partner’s emotions and showing empathy can strengthen the bond. Emotional connection is often more powerful than intellectual persuasion.
Example: If your partner is feeling insecure, don’t just provide logical reassurances. Show empathy and affection, validating their feelings with understanding and care.
Men often want to rush to solutions. They are typically problem solvers. So don’t say you want a capable, masculine man then get mad when they provide solutions.
Consider therapy or coaching and other forms of personal development so that you aren’t looking to your partner to soothe you and can cope and be emotionally resilient. Stoicism is self mastery. Learn to give yourself what you need better than anyone could or should.
Masculine men appreciate vulnerability however there is a difference between vulnerability and an emotional basket case.
To learn how to regulate your nervous system, start off by telling me more about what’s going on in your relationships? Click here to get your free LoveLife Assessment.
44. Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect
Description: By mirroring the behavior of others, you can disarm them and make them feel uncomfortable. It shows them their own flaws and forces them to confront themselves.
Application to Dating: In relationships, mirroring your partner’s actions or behavior can build rapport, but be careful not to do this in a manipulative way. It can make them feel understood and seen, but also might expose insecurities.
Example: If your partner is frustrated about something, mirroring their frustration in a non-aggressive way can help them recognize their own feelings. It might lead to a more open conversation about their concerns.
For more on how couples can communicate more consciously and effectively click here.
45. Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform Too Much at Once
Description: People are resistant to change. Introduce new ideas gradually to avoid overwhelming them.
Application to Dating: If you want to change something in the relationship or introduce new ideas, do it gradually. Sudden, drastic changes might make your partner feel uneasy.
Example: If you want to shift the dynamic in the relationship, start with small changes. For example, suggesting new ways of spending time together instead of immediately demanding big changes in the relationship.
46. Never Appear Too Perfect
Description: Perfection can provoke envy and resentment. Show some flaws or vulnerability to appear more human and relatable.
Application to Dating: In relationships, it’s okay to show imperfections. Being too perfect can intimidate your partner, while showing vulnerability makes you more approachable and relatable.
Example: If you’ve been putting on a facade of being flawless, try being open about your struggles or mistakes. It can create a stronger emotional connection, as your partner will appreciate your honesty and humanity.
47. Do Not Go Past the Mark You Aimed For; In Victory, Learn When to Stop
Description: Know when to stop, and don’t push for more than what you set out to achieve. Overextending can result in disaster.
Application to Dating: In relationships, once you’ve achieved what you wanted (whether it’s emotional intimacy, trust, etc.), don’t push too hard for more. Appreciate where you are without trying to force further progress.
Example: If you’ve been dating for a while and things are going well, don’t rush the relationship to the next level (e.g., marriage) if both of you aren’t ready. Enjoy the moment and let things develop naturally.
When you are a confident communicator you’ll already know where you are heading in the relationship. You’ll both be on the same page.
48. Assume Formlessness
Description: The most adaptable person is the most powerful. Be flexible and unpredictable to avoid being trapped by any system or structure.
Application to Dating: In relationships, don’t be rigid in your expectations or behavior. Be adaptable and open to changes in the relationship as they come. This can help you maintain harmony and flexibility.
Example: If plans change unexpectedly, don’t get upset. Instead, adapt quickly to the new circumstances, showing that you can handle unpredictability with ease and grace.
At the same time you want to be very clear about your preferences. For example if the restaurant loses your reservation don’t pitch a fit and get angry. Hang back and watch him problem solve. Then lean in and say there are two seats at the bar area. We can sit there.
Don’t take out your phone trying to book a reservation. Let the man lead. TRUST he will solve the matter. Remain in your feminine energy.
I highly recommend reading the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. It will help you read people and conduct yourself in a manner that is truly magnetic.
Lisa Concepcion is a Certified Professional Life Coach and founder of LoveQuest Coaching, a personal development academy to help people thrive at love starting with love of themselves.