Alpha Women, Stop Doing These Things If You Want to Attract A Masculine “Alpha” Male.

Alpha women often ask me what they are doing wrong when interacting with men? They want to know what they keep attracting weak beta males who are low achieving, average, lazy, boring, instead of a strong, capable, confident alpha male.

If you are searching for information to help you attract masculine men by shifting into your feminine energy this article will definitely help you understand what you might be doing that repels masculine men.

Masculine men are very observant and they size women up really fast. In this article I list out exactly what turns off masculine men (alpha males and sigma males) about alpha women who have yet to shift into their feminine energy and are imbalanced.

Are you interested in becoming that confident feminine woman who is magnetic to masculine men? 

I teach women how to be less masculine. I had to learn how to do this myself. I had to dig deep into myself, my wounds, fears, beliefs that had me behaving in a way of being that turned off the strong, capable, successful, confident, masculine men.

If you are tired of being the leader in your relationships and want to attract a man who is adoring, kind, capable, certain who you can admire and feel safe with, then connect with me immediately and let’s get to work. 

Keep in mind that masculine men do appreciate many things about the alpha woman. They like that she is intelligent, can have higher level, deeper conversations, is ambitious, has her own thing going on, is detailed and determined. 

The problem is when the alpha woman does these things, the masculine man pulls back and disappears. 

Behaviors and characteristics of alpha women that men find off-putting.

1. You talk too much and dominate the conversation with an overbearing tone.

Instead ask open ended questions that get him talking and opening up. Lean back and listen more. The femme fatale is alluring and makes men feel heard and valued. Click here to grab the list of 20 great questions to ask on a date. 

If you over communicate, overshare, it could be because your nervous system is dysregulated. This is due to trauma and many alpha women experienced trauma and carry unhealed childhood wounds which drives their alpha woman behaviors. 

Click here if you are ready to handle this so you can attract the man you truly want. 

2. You have unrealistic standards and expectations.

While it is great to have high standards for yourself and others, having unrealistic standards and expectations makes you seem delusional and crazy. A lot of alpha women fear being hurt again so they set these incredibly high standards for men as a way to protect themselves.

Heal the fears and you’ll get the man.

What if he’s 5’11” and makes $200,000 instead of having to be a millionaire who is 6’2?”

I’m not advising you to date a loser. I’m advising you to take it down a notch and most importantly self reflect on why you want what you want. It is coming from a place of love or ego?

3. Alpha women struggle with vulnerability.

You’re an ice princess, way too guarded and unable to express emotions, feelings, or share stories about yourself that let people get to know you deeper. You struggle to connect with others.

I had a client who was going through the last stages of her father’s cancer. She was dating a guy for 6 months and he adored her. Yet, when he asked her about her dad all she would say is, “Welp, he’s got cancer so he’ll die eventually, we all do.” She said that because she didn’t want to seem weak or burden her boyfriend with her stuff.

After 4 weeks of coaching, she got to the root cause for her fear of vulnerability and saw how her ex was turned off and felt shut out. 

She was taught as a child to be hyper independent and didn’t receive the nurturing she needed from her high achieving mother. She was emotionally neglected as a kid which led her to bury her own emotions and just get on with it.

Her emotionally immature parents couldn’t handle the big emotions that most normal children have. She wasn’t validated when she felt scared sad, fearful, anxious. She was praised whenever she was stoic, seen and not heard. So she was entrained to keep her feeling inside and focus on achievement, the thing that she believed got her parent’s positive attention the most.

While in the relationship she kept her now ex-boyfriend in the box of “fun zone, a companion to go enjoy life with” and he wanted to show her he could be her soft place to fall when life got tough. He was husband material and she blew it. 

This was 5 years ago and she, now at close to 40, never got over losing this great guy who moved on and is now married with a baby on the way. 

Seeing him pop up on her Instagram and seeing his life, his wedding day, vacations with his wife, their pregnancy announcement and the life she could have had was enough to inspire her to coach with me. 

She’s done a lot of Inner Child Work and shifted into a much more feminine version of herself. She still has more work to do around being vulnerable. She’s working on it and making more and more progress. 

Click here to get started on Inner Child Work with a Free PDF designed to help you. 

4. You make men feel useless and not needed because you “got  it,” are too independent and unable to receive from a man. 

Learn to receive!! This is what feminine energy is all about. Receiving. 

Let him open doors. Literally slow down when walking and let him touch the door. Make the conscious decision that your pretty, manicured hands do not touch doors when a man is in proximity. 

Feminism has turned women into men.

Learn to allow men of all ages to dote on you. I do a cool exercise with my clients which helps them become women who men dote upon. That is true power.

Feminism is backwards.

True feminine power resides in our ability to inspire men to do for us, happily.

If he’s coming over and asks if you need anything, say yes!! Thank you!! Then give him a mission to bring you a few things.

I had a client reply to a text from a guy she was seeing who told her he was on his way to her place asking if she needed anything.

Her reply with my coaching was, “I could actually use 3 more lemons, and vinegar, I appreciate you asking! Thank you so much! 

He had a mission. He felt needed. He stopped at the store to get the lemons and vinegar and even bought flowers.

When he arrived at her house he felt happy that he helped her out. 

My husband always takes out the garbage. I’ve done this for myself for 11 years prior to meeting him. The only time I’ll do it is when my husband travels for business. I’ll bring the empty trash cans into the garage which he appreciates. Allowing a man to do for you doesn’t mean you are incapable.

It means that you are a feminine woman who knows how to inspire a man to do for you. You’re then able to attract men and not little boys wanting a mommy type to do everything for him.

My husband opens the passenger door, waits for me to get in and then shuts the door. He does loads of stuff around the house, is very domesticated and I receive all of it with gratitude and appreciation.

I do my part too but I don’t run everything and insist it is all done my way. The more I appreciate the more I’m given. 

5. Stubbornness, strong willed and not agreeable. 

If you think men are intimidated by you and say this is the reason you are single, you need to know that masculine men aren’t intimidated, they’re turned off. Big difference. 

If you want to attract a strong, certain, capable masculine man who has his sh*t together, then you need to learn how to assert yourself as a femme fatale as opposed to a confrontational boss babe. 

A lot of my clients are boss babes who want to be more feminine so they can attract masculine alpha men. 

When they learn to be more agreeable and less stubborn, their entire energy around men changes. 

There’s a good reason why you felt the need to take charge in your life. The problem is you’re coming across as a pain in the ass. Let them lead!

This is probably why you find yourself attracting men who are passive, beta males who want you to pay for dates, seem non committal, and can’t step up. 

Heal whatever is at the root of your stubbornness. This is a coping mechanism and a trauma response so now is your opportunity to heal that.

6.  You are a hard-core feminist who doesn’t like traditional roles and rejects gender norms. 

Nothing turns true masculine alpha males off more than an angry, bitter feminist who wants nothing to do with traditional roles. If an alpha woman flat out says she will never be a traditional wife or mother and expects her man to be a feminist, she will attract weak beta males who will sit back and do the least while she is breadwinner.

A lot of feminists are so deeply wounded with unresolved childhood issues, especially daddy issues, that they reject traditional roles and end up with men they can boss around. They end up growing bored with these men and divorce them. Men are catching on and are either dating women overseas or opting out of dating modern western women.

Masculine alpha men want to lead their family. This gives them a sense of clear purpose and something to inspire them to excel professionally. Masculine men want to leave a legacy and build a great family so they want a feminine woman to build a legacy with.

He wants a woman who will help to instill the values that they both have in their children as opposed to letting teachers and the media influence his kids. 

Masculine men are free to focus on their career when they are confident that their wife is running the home and caring for the children joyously. 

Sure she may have her own career that she loves but, she isn’t some office zombie. She’s too feminine for the hierarchical “slave-matrix” of corporations.

He prefers the wife who works for herself, from home so she can be there for the children. She prioritizes her role as mother above all else knowing that employers and clients come and go. They won’t be the ones profoundly impacted if you died.

I always have my clients who are alpha women think about who truly matters?

Women have become obsessed with money. They need to become obsessed with peace internally and in the world.

Given masculine alpha males are more awake to what’s happening in the world and lean more right of center when it comes to politics, he prefers homeschooling to ward off any indoctrination from the Rockefeller Education System which is failing western youth more and more. 

A lot of alpha women fear giving up their careers and then having nothing should the marriage fail. 

This is where the “Empowered Feminine Alpha” has an edge. She has foresight and can negotiate a marriage agreement and has no problem with this. 

The empowered feminine alpha will ask the right questions and insure she and her children will be just fine financially should the marriage fail. 

And… because the Empowered Feminine Alpha woman is so respected and adored, her masculine husband has zero desire for anything destructive to what they have built and achieved together.

Because of how she handles herself she becomes a wife who is respected and cherished. She becomes the woman that her alpha masculine man adores. He’s not going anywhere.

If you’re triggered by this, get to work. You’ve been programmed by the media and society at large to value money and career more than your natural feminine ability to influence the next generation with your incredible qualities of creativity, nurturing, care, compassion, warmth, safety and confidence based on who you are and not what you earn.

Take it from someone who chose career over motherhood. I was in a Dual Income No Kids marriage and it ended in divorce. When a couple lacks meaningful purpose, they remain stunted in their growth. They remain as children, self centered, self absorbed and materialistic. 

7. Too much criticism, judgment and emasculation. 

A masculine alpha man won’t tolerate disrespect. While they welcome and appreciate constructive tactful criticism and truly want to be inspired to be better. However, they will be turned off by tactless, put downs, snide remarks, judgment and being talked down to like a child. 

If he’s truly masculine and self respecting, he’ll pull back and move on. 

There are ways to communicate as a femme fatale that will inspire your man to make more money, dress more stylish, change his hair cut, and whatever else to elevate him. 

Be a woman who inspires men to be better. Degrading or insulting him will only make him resentful. 

8. Self absorption, and a “me first” narcissistic attitude with zero bandwidth for support. 

A male client of mine now rebuilding his life after divorcing his ex wife of 12 years, said he started seeing his wife for who she truly was when he decided to lose weight and change his health habits. 

Instead of supporting him she said she wasn’t giving up her wine just because he wasn’t drinking anymore. She said she works too hard all day to give up unwinding with wine. 

She also told him to cook his own meals because she couldn’t stand the smell of broccoli and would mock his new diet and meal prep.

She would also complain about him waking up early to work out because it disturbed her sleep. 

He suggested they get up and work out together and she snapped back, “you know I hate the gym.” 

He didn’t feel supported by her at all and felt alone. By the time he lost 65 pounds he was more confident, solid in his masculinity and asked for a divorce. 

She was a typical narcissistic alpha woman who preferred a weaker man that she could boss around. His weight loss journey changed him as a man and now I’m helping him make peace with the past version of himself who attracted this type of narcissistic unsupportive shrew in the first place. 

Click here for information on Self Love Mastery and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. 

9. Rigid, Inflexible and Uncompromising

It’s hard to find common ground when you’re always trying to push your opinions. If you’re competitive with your man and care more about being right than being happy, you’ll continue to match with weak men looking for a mommy figure to lead them. 

It’s ok to have preferences but if you’re wound too tight, are closed minded and take a “your way or the highway,” strong arming approach you’ll be repelling to masculine men.  You’ll turn off masculine men.

Again, there is a very good reason for why you show up as you do in relationships. I used to be stuck in my masculine energy. I had a lot of healing to do. 

Inner Child Reconnection and Reparenting is what helped me to heal the past wounds that had me in fear, anxiety, wanting to control everything. 

Today I’m remarried to a masculine male who is decisive, has faith, is confident in himself, is kind, fun, funny, adoring and very clear about his boundaries, what is tolerated and what is not. He commands respect and does shy away from responsibility.

Get started on your Inner Work today with this Free Assessment. 

10. All work, no play!! Waaay too much emphasis on success. 

If all you talk about on dates is work and every time he tries to make plans you’re busy with work or too tired because of work, it shows him that you’ll prioritize work over the relationship. 

The biggest problem alpha women have is an inability to manage time efficiently and put an end to the work energy and step into the feminine energy when work is done. 

They struggle to relax and their minds are always racing.

If you aren’t available to truly be present for a relationship but want one, then connect with me and let’s get to the root of what’s going on.

As a next step you have some options if you truly want to shift into your feminine energy. 

The chart below shows all masculine and feminine qualities. Do an honest check of yourself. Then take action.

Schedule your one-on-one session with me which is done via video conference. 

You will get the clarity you need to become a confident feminine alpha woman so that you can attract an incredible masculine alpha male. 

Now is your time. Especially if you are fed up with attracting weak, uncertain beta male losers.