Afraid of Attracting Another Narcissist? This is for You.
If you are afraid of attracting another narcissist this article will give you exactly what you get to do at this moment in your life so that you become someone who doesn’t attract narcissists any more.
Narcissists are predatory. That means they seek prey. Just like an animal hunting. Narcissists know exactly who they are looking for to prey on or make their new narcissistic supply.
Narcissists often prey upon people who are highly empathetic, vulnerable, or have low self-esteem.
Let’s go deeper into the traits that narcissists exploit. If you are afraid of attracting another narcissist you get to shift to the positive opposite of each of these traits.
The goal is to no longer be perfect prey to the predatory narcissist. This is what I help people to do.
What do Narcissists Look for in Supply?
Empathetic and Caring but Lacks Boundaries:
While it is great that you are compassionate and willing to help others, without solid boundaries and healthy motives behind your desire to be there for others, you open yourself up for manipulation.
Becoming an “Empowered Empath” you will be able to have a healthy balance of empathy and compassion for others without tolerance for manipulation.
You’ll stop rushing to help others and will take time to assess if you are able to help and how. You’ll also be able to help without enmeshment.
This empowers you to become authentic and truly sincere. You’re giving and helping because you truly want to, not because you want the person’s approval, validation and love.
People With Low Self-Esteem:
If you lack self worth, you’ll be easily lovebombed. The more you develop self love and start knowing that your self worth comes from your creator and not people, the less appealing you will be to a narcissist.
When you need others to make you feel good enough, you’ll be exploited through charm, validation and the feeling as if you are seen and heard.
If you are afraid of attracting another narcissist consider taking the next 6 months to a year to focus on developing self love.
Codependents:
If your value is tied up in how others feel, if you give and give thinking your giving will inspire others to give to you, and need others to behave as you need them in order to feel at ease, then you’re codependent. Also, if you fear being alone and only feel complete when tethered to another person, this is codependency.
Codependents are easy prey and perfect supply for narcissists. Narcissists exploit the codependents desire to please and be perceived as good and valuable.
Codependents also stay in relationships way too long and will waste years chasing the exhilarating first 3-6 months of the relationship where the narcissist’s mask was still on.
People Who Seek Validation:
Narcissists are incredibly charismatic and charming so when they put their focus, attention and effort onto you, they make you feel on top of the world.
External validation causes a rush of dopamine. You become addicted to the attention, the compliments, praise and what seems like genuine love and deep understanding of you and all you’ve been through.
People who seek validation tend to overshare with the narcissist which gives the narcissist all the information necessary to manipulate you.
Learning how to pace yourself in relationships and having clear boundaries is the key.
Inner child reconnection and reparenting, which I teach, is the fastest way to achieve self love by healing the core wounds which inform your decisions in relationships.
When your wounded inner child is running the show they will attract narcissists. When you reconnect with your inner child and commit to protect, guide, love and when necessary, discipline them, your adult self takes the lead.
Narcissists prey upon the wounded inner child we carry inside us.
As a first step, consider getting your free LoveLife Assessment here.
5. Overly Trusting Individuals:
Now that you have experienced how narcissists manipulate, you can develop self trust. This is your opportunity to sharpen your ability to determine the difference between lovebombing and actual interest.
Also, if you’re the type who second guesses yourself, you’ll make excuses for behavior that seems off or doesn’t hit you right. You’ll ignore your intuition which is exactly what the narcissist wants.
People who ignore red flags or worse, see them and do nothing, are exactly the people I help. Are you ready to become more empowered, aware and self loving?
If so, take the first step and get your Free LoveLife Assessment. This Assessment offers you the freedom to express all you have experienced in a form that I personally read and respond to via email. It’s an excellent resource and totally free. Click here to get it.
6. People Who Are Isolated:
This is why it is so important to have strong connections with friends and family. It’s also a smart idea to casually have your friends meet the person you are dating within the first few weeks. Your friends and family can pick up on the red flags that you might miss.
Narcissists are typically very charming and like to win over others. However, many don’t want to be found out by more secure individuals who may pick up on their manipulation.
Oftentimes narcissists prefer to isolate you because they want to be your main source for everything. Their opinion is the only one they want you to have. It’s an insidious form of mind control.
So maintain friendships, hobbies, your own life. This repels narcissists.
7. People in Transition or Crisis:
Never date when going through a difficult life circumstance. If you recently broke up with or divorced someone, take a few months to be single and get reconnected to yourself. If you recently lost a parent, you might be more emotionally vulnerable which is exactly what the narcissist looks for in their prey. Date when you are at your best, not at your worst.
8. Generous People With a Solid Lifestyle.
Many of my clients are successful, independent people who are respected professionally. Many were and are high achievers with a very nice home, and lifestyle.
They are often blindsided and are stunned at how a narcissist slithered their way into their lives and beat themselves up for not seeing it and allowing themselves to be played.
Oftentimes the narcissist will prey upon a person who is successful yet lacks self worth, may want to help and rescue someone else or may genuinely want to share their lifestyle with a partner.
They may suggest that they move in with their partner and may ask for money for some emergency.
They are appealing to your need to help which they exploit.
This is why I coach clients to get very clear on their boundaries and standards and I teach people how to communicate both effectively which repels the narcissist.
Narcissists don’t like it when people advocate for themselves by asserting a boundary and or standard.
Boundaries are the bedrock for self love and your energetic sword against narcissists.
As you know narcissists target people they can easily control or manipulate. If you are afraid of attracting a narcissist again and don’t want to attract narcissists any longer consider working on the following things immediately.
Self Love
Emotional Self Soothing & Self Regulation
Nervous System Set Point
Developing Healthy Boundaries
Inner Child Reconnection and Reparenting
How to get started on turning your fear of attracting narcissists around.
Follow me on Instagram and on Tiktok
Join my Facebook Group the Self Love Club.
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel after Checking out this video on How To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse and Codependency.
Or take massive action and book a session with me today.
~Lisa Concepcion, Certified Professional Life Coach for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Codependency Cure
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