How to Stop Getting Ghosted
Modern dating unfortunately comes with the awful behavior called ghosting. If you have been ghosted and are fed up with it, the info that follows will definitely help you. It’s important to understand why you specifically are getting ghosted because when we take responsibility for all outcomes in our lives, we become empowered. We cannot change others but, we certainly can change our own energy and what we attract.
When it comes to getting ghosted in dating, always remember that this behavior immediately disqualifies people from having access to you. They are the problem not you. Remove them from your phone, social media and life.
If you struggle with setting boundaries and following through with boundaries consider having a look at why this is by getting your free LoveLife Assessment here.
Characteristics of People Who Might Get Ghosted:
They’re overbearing, insecure, desperate and anxiously attached: Coming across as needy, clingy and pushing for a deeper connection too soon instead of letting things evolve slowly and naturally, can make the other person uncomfortable, leading them to ghost because they presume you won’t take rejection well and they want to avoid any long drawn out conversations.
They rely on texting as the primary method of communciation: If you want a serious relationship, use text for fun, casual banter and planning. Don’t have full blown conversations over text. Successful people typically don’t have time to be texting paragraphs back and forth all day. Too much reliance on texting may make it easier for people to simply stop responding. Scheudle “phone dates” where you can see and speak to each other via a video chat.
They fail to communicate their intentions clearly, and succinctly from the start: When people are unclear about what they want from the relationship, (dating to marry, for long term partnership, to create a family, or a casual companionship, etc…) it could lead to misunderstandings that cause the other person to disappear.
They show Red Flags: Dating is about assessing whether or not a person is suitable for you or not. Sometimes, behaviors like drinking too much on a date, having an entitled attitude, not opening up, being critical, controlling or manipulative may inspire ghosting because they don’t want to debate their decision not to see you any longer.
They have weak or unclear boundaries: It is important to learn how to advocate for yourself. Boundaries is the foundation of self love. If a person lacks the ability to communicate their standards, expectations, needs, and boundaries clearly and tactfully in a manner that commands respect they may cause confusion or mixed signals, which could lead to ghosting.
Inconsistent communication: If someone is noncommittal, distracted, not putting any real effort into the relationship, being non responsive or flakey it can leave the other person feeling uncertain about the relationship, increasing the chances of them losing interest or ghosting.
What Can People Do to Avoid Getting Ghosted?
Be Confident and Independent: Having your own life, friends, interests a busy schedule makes you impossible to ghost. People who are happy and fulfilled on their own, open to love but not relying on the other person for self worth is true confidence which people find very attractive. Detach from the outcome of a relationship and you’ll have plenty of people pursuing you. Show interest but never appear needy or overwhelming.
Maintain Healthy Boundaries: Knowing your own needs and respecting the other person’s boundaries is key. Don’t allow loveboming. Don’t allow or push for constant texts and force closeness and bonding too soon. Keep a healthy pace. If you struggle with anxious attachment and get ghosted, get your free LoveLife Assessment. You have an opportunity to heal whatever is at the root of your issues with boundaries.
Be Honest and Clear About Intentions: Letting the other person know early on what you’re looking for before even going on a first date. Consider having a phone date where you can do a compatibility check to see if you both are on the same page with what you want in life, values, morals etc…
Level up your self love and self confidence so you don’t take ghosting personally: People who ghost lack the emotional maturity to have difficult conversations or even the compassion to send a quick text letting you know it’s not a match for them and wish you well. There’s no need for a long conversation after only dating a few weeks. Simply send a text that says, “I’m glad to have met you however, I’m not seeing this as a match for a long term romantic relationship. It would be unfair to both of us not to be honest. I wish you the best.” They lack the ability to do this so write them off. Decide that when people show you who they are by their actions you believe them.
Look for Red Flags Early On: If someone is giving inconsistent signals, doesn’t respect your time, or seems flaky early in the relationship, those are red flags that ghosting may happen later. It's better to spot those early and move on rather than invest too much.
Be Open and Realistic: Understand that not every person you date is going to be your match. You’re interested in attracting your person, not everyone. Ghosting happens, and sometimes it’s simply a case of incompatibility. Don’t take it personally or let it define your self-worth. Remember, only be interested in people who consistently show interest in you.
When a person ghosts they are showing you that they aren’t a match for you, lack emotional intelligence, maturity, decorum, and may even be psychopathic and narcissistic. Best to become the type of person who is not an energetic match for ghosting by simply being unbothered by anyone.
The fact that you are reading this article is an indicator that you are personally impacted by ghosting. There’s an opportunity there for healing. Once you get to the root cause for your fears and insecurities and deep need for others to validate you, then you will become truly self loving and confident. Take action by getting your free lovelife assessment. Start there to get the clarity that will empower you and make you feel better.
~Lisa Concepcion, Certified Professional Life Coach for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Codependency Cure
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