Dating After Divorce Checklist
Are you truly ready for dating after divorce? This checklist below will help you determine if you are ready to date after divorce. Each item offers an explanation for why this is so important and what may happen if unaddressed.
At any point while reading you can click here to schedule a one on one coaching session with me.
Ok. Let’s begin with the Dating After Divorce Checklist
You have given yourself enough time to fully heal.
Divorce is a massive upheaval. There’s the marriage ending phase, then the actually getting divorced phase. For some people getting divorced can lead to deep despair and a feeling of confusion and overwhelm.
Feeling lost is normal. Finding yourself is necessary before dating after divorce. I suggest dedicating one full year from your divorce finalization to yourself.
This is what I failed to do. It led to my getting mixed up with a bipolar narcissist who love bombed me then discarded me.
Truth is… I was so heartbroken because of my divorce, that I desperately needed to feel adored.
It led to a very hurtful experience, deep despair.
It also showed me I was massively codependent and disconnected from myself.
After this 5 month emotional rollercoaster ride, I committed to healing myself of codependency.
This put me on a whole new life path of personal development and eventually healing fully, reinventing my life and becoming a Life Coach so I can teach people just like you how to fully heal, reinvent and then date successfully after divorce. (You can check out my whole story here.)
You created a fulfilling life for yourself and aren’t lonely.
Dating after divorce is best when you are not still in the dumps, dealing with co-parenting drama, a narcissistic ex, financial stress, are alone, bored, feeling lonely and not feeling good about yourself.
You want to date when you feel at your best.
You are clear on why you want to date.
Are you dating for casual fun? Something to do on weekends? Are you dating for companionship? A relationship? There is a difference between the two. Are you dating to find true love? Oftentimes people who are codependent and divorced from a toxic person will want to quickly enter another serious relationship.
Take it slow.
The first serious relationship after my divorce lasted 4.5 years. It was more of a companionship, boyfriend / girlfriend type of relationship.
Eventually I felt called to be a wife and my boyfriend didn’t want to merge lives on that level. We were growing apart.
So don’t rush to marry again. Become married to yourself. Learn how to truly love yourself.
You are clear about the qualities you want in a significant other.
When I coach my clients, I help them to shed all the negative beliefs about their ex and anything from their past that will hold them back.
The past cannot be changed. It happened. It’s time to accept it and move on. Getting clear about the type of person you want next is the first very important step to take to attract that person.
Take some time and think about all the qualities you want and write them down. One of the coolest things my clients LOVE is learning intentional scripting where they write down what they want in a manner that speaks it into existence.
You have solid boundaries and trust yourself to assert them.
Boundaries are key and most people have very loose boundaries after divorce. They are often so excited to date and meet new people, feel lonely and unlovable that they make bad decisions because they lack boundaries.
Also, it’s common for people to have arrested development and revert back to a younger version of themselves once divorced.
This might be a season of hook ups, impulsiveness, and reckless abandonment as you work out the hurt and explore who you will become next.
Self discipline is a form of self love. Which leads to…
You learned to love yourself.
If you don’t know how to love yourself you’ll attract takers and exploitative manipulative people. They might seem like a rescue to you. They might say the right things. However, the timing isn’t right because deep down you know you hate being alone and don’t love yourself.
When you learn to love yourself you will live more authentically. You won’t just give anyone a chance. You won’t attract someone who isn’t good for you. You’ll be the best for yourself.
When you love yourself you won’t rush into anything. You won’t have sex too soon and get swept up in the dopamine rush that attention provides (especially when coming out of divorce).
If this article is hitting you and you’re still with me then you’re probably wondering what step you can take next to prepare to date after divorce.
I got you.
Step one is to decide that you want to invest in yourself.
Then begin by getting clarity and specifics given your own situation. This is where I come in.
Click here to schedule your one on one session with me today.
Greatness awaits you. You must prepare.
Helpful Resources: Dating With Purpose Program, Post Divorce Recovery, Self Love Mastery, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Free LoveLife Assessment.
Lisa Concepcion is the Founder of LoveQuestCoaching.com a Personal Development Academy offering courses and one on one coaching for awakened, high conscious individuals, who actively invest in bettering themselves and seek solutions for their problems in their relationships and life. Lisa is a Certified Professional LoveLife Coach, and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner through the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).