How to Get Rid of Negative Self Talk In 3 Steps

I’m a Life Coach for intelligent high achievers who want to solve their problems such as getting rid of negative self talk as efficiently as possible. Here’s how to get rid of negative self talk in 3 steps. 

Negative self-talk is that inner critic, a shadow version of you, perhaps your wounded inner child, teenager, a less confident version of yourself and even your parents, teachers, past boss,  or anyone who is taking up residency in your head. 

Three steps to get rid of negative self talk and limiting beliefs.

Step One: Identify what the negative message is.

What’s the topic that you are ruminating about?

Rumination (negative mind chatter) is your ego at work. 

Many of my clients come to me to resolve negative thoughts around relationships. They know they want a happy, loving relationship but their negative self talk blocks them from manifesting it. 

What we think and speak determines what we create. 

If your inner voice is down on love, afraid to get hurt, doubtful their person exists then, love will always elude you. 

If you’re Googling and YouTubing “why am I so negative about love?” Or, “how to get rid of negative self-talk? You found the right information with a step by step method that can help, especially when you repeat the method. 

So let’s get back to the first step. Confronting the story your ego is trying to make you believe is true. The ego is trying to sell you. Are you buying? 

Take a moment to identify the topics that spark your negative self-talk.

Is it family? 

Romantic relationships? 

Work?

Money? 

Health?

Then train yourself to notice when these ruminating negative thoughts come up and what this voice is actually attempting to do. 

This voice is trying to convince you that you are whatever it’s telling you. 

Step 2:  Decide not to agree with what the negative voice is telling you. Call BS on your negative self-talk. 

Reaching this disagreement requires mindfulness which is simply taking time to analyze the thoughts and the feelings they evoke in you. 

Let’s say for example, you want to go walking each day for 30 minutes as a new way of exercising. 

The negative inner voice pops up with “why bother, you’re not going to lose any weight?” 

At that moment CHOOSE. Do you want to agree with this negativity? 

NOPE! 

Where do you feel the negativity in your body? When that negative story tries to tell you who you are, sells you short, makes you question your worth, where do you feel it physically? 

Don’t just get used to ignoring your body sensations. There is so much information in how our bodies react to negative thoughts. 

Here’s a guide to help you pay attention to how your body may feel when you have negative self-talk or a belief. 

If your head feels dull, throbbing, the emotion is anger.

If there’s a tightness or heaviness in your chest, the emotion is FEAR! 

If you feel it in your throat, dryness, unable to speak, a literal lump in your throat. The emotion is sadness. 

If your stomach flipped or feels like a sinking or drop, that’s your intuition calling BS on these negative thoughts. 

If you feel it in your joints, muscles, limbs, it’s anxiety.

If you feel it in your face, heat in your cheeks, a dulling of sound, that is shame. 

And… it is possible to feel multiple sensations. Your body gives signals. 

One of the things I teach my clients is to connect to themselves so deeply that they can assess their thoughts and feelings which is very calming. 

The key is to see the negative thought as GROSS LIES!! This helps you to disassociate from the negative thought(s). 

Then shift to the TRUTH!! Step into your power with the next step. 

Step 3: Affirm what you choose to think instead. Replace negative thoughts with what you prefer to think instead. Here’s exactly how to replace negative self talk with self-affirmation. 

Using the example above, “don’t bother walking for 30 minutes. You're never losing weight.” 

Something helpful is to say or think the words, “cancel, cancel, cancel.” 

The repetition clears the motherboard of your brain and frees it up to receive new information. 

Then say that thought is untrue and what I prefer to think is I will walk daily for 30 minutes because it is good for me and I get fresh air and moving. I can listen to a podcast and have some me time as I walk. I am committed to walking every day for 30 minutes and it will be awesome. 

What you did here was transmute a thought by not accepting the lie and replacing it with how it is going to be. You choose how it’s going to be. 

This is the foundation to solving all of your deep rooted limiting beliefs and this is what I can teach you how to do. Click here to connect with me and be sure to mention this article. 

Your mindset is the manufacturer of your life. You can either agree with thoughts that hold you back or, you can disagree with the negative lies and choose what you want to think instead. 

This is what moves you forward. 

My client Dave had a recurring negative self thought that he wouldn’t be good enough for a relationship again because his ex-wife said he was terrible with money and irresponsible. 

Oftentimes the negative self-talk consists of someone else's words from our past. 

This is why I ask my clients, “who’s talking to you? Is it a parent? An ex? Whose words are those?”

This exercise shows them exactly who is living rent free in their head and then we evict them by replacing their voice with YOUR truth. 

If you are tired of playing safe and small, or fed up with the same relationship issues repeating over and over. Then take action. 

Get on my calendar here and let’s clear out the negativity. It’s weighing you down and is keeping you stuck. 

Taking action sends a message to the EGO that says…

I AM IN CHARGE!! I RUN THE SHOW IN MY LIFE!! 

This three step process changed my life and is a helpful tool in my own tool box of mind hacks that I’ve acquired over the years and teach my clients. 

It might take a bit of time, a few days, of doing these 3 steps before you start feeling more energized, clear, empowered and optimistic. 

If while trying this process you feel a flood of thoughts or perhaps fear opening the Pandora's box of “all that past junk,” consider reaching out to me for support so you can master this process and the area of your life where things aren’t clicking due to negative self-talk. 

Click here to schedule your session with me.

Click here to get your Free LoveLife Assessment.

Click here to join my Self Love Club Facebook Group. 

I’m glad you found me and am happy to help you. 

Lisa Concepcion aka “Lisa The LoveLife Coach”

~Lisa Concepcion, Certified Professional Life Coach, Founder of LoveQuestCoaching.com a Personal Development Academy that helps intelligent people who struggle with romantic relationships.